The Shugo Chara Crack Chronicles
by blueberrymuffinsandtea
Summary: A collection of random, crack filled oneshots... Will be random, and crazy, so consider yourself warned.  May have language later on  Rated T, cause you never know what might happen  Various pairing, may contain yaoi, and normal FxM pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Okilayyy~ So small-ish intro here~ **

** Anyways: What exactly are The Crack Chronicles? **

** Basically, it's a bunch of oneshots I've written and whatnot, that have at least an ounce of crack in it xD It may be a crank pairing, a crack song fic, the characters acting crack-ish... Etc. **

** I'll update when I can and whatnot, because this is basically a 'I'm bored and wanna write, why not do something crack-ish?' type thing, lul. Or possibly just one for when I'm high on life... Not drugs or anything -nervous laugh- **

** I will take requests~ so feel free to ask for one... Or demand it )_); **

** Also, there are various categories I'll post Crack Chronicles up for, so there may be similar titles... Only it's prbobaly gunna be titled with the whole 'THE SHUGO CHARA CRACK CHRONICLES!', and lol, that's a lot of C's xD **

** Ahaha~ now... Yes, this crap will be über-random. And yes, the character will probably be OOC. Got a problem with it, don't read it. This is a warning, therefore I do not want anyone being all "AMFG YEW JUST TTLY KILLD MAH SMEX! HE WUD NEVR ACT LIKE THAT AND OMGWTFBBQ? WHAI DUD YU WRITE YAOIII?1" okay~? **

** And yes... There may (will) be some yaoi... Probably not yuri, though. Also, there will be drabbles (: So please no "You suck, this is too effing short, you whore!" flames either. **

** Anyways~ to the brave souls who dare read on... ENJOY~! **


	2. Mondays

**Ehehe, here you go. My first attempt at yaoi... And I feel it was a fail, urk. Cause not only is it all weird and awkward I think, but also it's short xDD But I don't know... Just so you guys know, my brain is currently in a coma... and it might not make it. I ordered a new one, but you know that new brains take FOREVER to be shipped -face palm- **

**Anyways~This chapter (and basically the whole thing, I promised) is for Goose-chan! She requested this and helped me through most of it... Lol, plus she has been halping me kurrect mah grammer :D**

**Enjoyyy~ **

**~O-o-o-O-o-o-O~ I own nothing D: ~O-o-o-O-o-o-O~**

It was a warm, sunny, mid-winter day. The birds were flying around happily, singing, and doing whatever else it is birds do. The sky was a bright blue, and the clouds white an fluffy. The grass was a rich green, and it seemed to dance along with the cool breeze that blew.

Sadly... It was Monday. Now, not all Mondays were bad... Just some. And this was one of those.

And it seemed to Nagihiko, that Mother Nature was mocking him by producing such a beautiful day.

Each time a bird chirped, he felt Mother Nature was all like "ELOHEL NAGI-KUN! YEW GOT A 98 ON A TEST! NOW YEW WILL FURVEVAR FAIL EPICALLY AT SKEWL!"

But the 98 was the only thing that had screwed up his day. He had also woken up late, so he didn't have time to have breakfast. Plus he hadn't had much sleep. Too many nightmares of his Nadeshiko days being stalked by fanboys and such.

He was sitting outside on the grass, the warm sun shining on him. He was watching the third graders run around playing and laughing.

"Why so glum, New Jack?" asked a cheerful voice behind him.

"It's Monday," Nagihiko sighed.

"Ah. So what happened?" Kukai asked, taking a seat beside him.

"I failed a test."

"Really?" Kukai whistled in disbelief. "What did you get on it? A 98?" he joked, and Nagi nodded his head in response. "That's not that bad," he laughed.

Nagihiko looked up, and studied the previous Jack. "How would you feel if you missed a goal in soccer?"

"That actually happened once," Kukai said thoughtfully.

"Really?" Nagi asked, surprised.

"Yeah. And Nadeshiko cheered me up," Kukai winked. He saw Nagi's confused face as he tried to remember exactly what 'Nadeshiko' had done. "She came up to me and gave me the whole 'if at first you don't succeed, try and try again' speech," Kukai told him.

"Oh... Right, right," Nagihiko said, remembering.

"You know, I always did like Nadeshiko," Kukai declared, blushing lightly. "She was pretty, and nice. And always hilarious when she chara changed," he chuckled.

"Nadeshiko liked you too..." Nagihiko muttered softly.

"Huh?"

"Nothing... Too bad she isn't here, anymore, hmm?" Nagi asked.

" 'T's too bad," Kukai responded, and for some reason making Nagihiko's heart ache. "I found someone else, you could say."

"Utau?" Nagihiko guessed.

"Nah. Utau's okay... But the person I like is amazing. That person is nice, amusing and pretty good looking, actually. That person is smart, and likes a challenge." Kukai paused. "He's actually really similar to Nadeshiko. They're so alike you could say they're like brother and sister," he hinted, surprising Nagi.

"Wh-what?" Nagihiko exclaimed in surprise. Kukai patted his shoulder in response.

"We should walk home together okay? I should go now," he told him. "Or else my math teacher will kill me for skipping," he laughed running off.

From behind, Nagihiko looked at Kukai run off.

And the only thing going through his mind was 'Maybe Mondays aren't too bad.'

**~O-o-o-O-o-o-O~**

**-face palm x100- Argh. No matter how many times I read this, my brain cells die... and yes it's pretty bad, considering that my brain is in a coma... ahahaha. Poor Nagi.. getting a 98 on a test... I know, over reaction and whatnot... but that was my reaction last week :D And I got yelled at by my friends because I was all... sad xDD Aha, anyways~ reviews are welcome but flames are not~! (And if you're gunna yell at me for failing at yaoi-writing, please do it nicely D':)**


	3. Chapter 3

****

Okay, then. So I was cleaning out my closet earlier this month. And found this random-ass acrostic poem hidden in a deep, dark corner of it. And yeah, I decided to publish it here, with the crack fics. Cause it is full of crack. Prbly because I was high off of something when I wrote it ._.,

The problem is... I wasn't smoking anything ._.

So there is no excuse for this horrible... Suckfic.

Anyways~ enjoy. Plus, I don't own anything, etc.

~O-oOo-O~ 

R- Rima Mashiro did marry Nagihiko Fujisaki. Mainly because the fangirls would've ripped her apart if she said no... But we all know she loves him somewhere in her heart. Way deep down.

I- "I LOVE YEW!" both Ri-chan and Nagi-kun said at the same, time. Tgey stared wide eyes at each other, and then looked away, blushing.

M- Mashiro. Rima's maiden name... Cause she married Nagi~! :D You know the fanboys are all squealing -in their emo corners- over the "hotness" that is Rima Fujisaki.

A- And they kissed after a sweet confession to one another. (Causing both squeals and groans in the fan population)

H- How exactly they managed to get married at the age of around 12, remains unknown. Rimahikologists suspect that they ran off to Las Vegas (well, flew) and had a happily ever after the end.

I- 'I -less than three- U, Nagi', Rima wrote on the wanna-be-love-letter. And then proceeded to crumple it up an throw it in the trash can beside her. "Ugh, this confession crap is hard," she groaned.

K- 'Kay,' Rima thought. 'Today is the day to tell that purple head I love him.' Or so she thought, considering she ran in the opposite direction when she saw him. 'Confession fail no.567,' she wrote in her dairy later that day.

O- "OLIVE JUICE," Nagi said, to a dazed Rima.  
"I love you too!" she admitted, blushing.

"Uh... Rima? I asked for the olive juice," he told her, snapping her out of her trance. Which reminded her that they were in Cooking Class. "Not that I don't love you," he added.

****

~O-oOo-O~

Ahahaha... Oh my gosh. That was an epic failll xDD Sorry for the short-ness of it, also~

That... was just horrible. Anyways, I altered the real version of this. So the original was worse o_o; I'm sorry to inform you kiddies that there are worse things out there other than this chapter. Like the original. Anyways~ I was thinking of maybe somehow making a oneshot series, maybe out of this? So just tell me what you think and whatnot.

Reviews are always welcome, flames on the other hand aren't. An thanks to my reviewers/favorite-ers/subscribers,etc. You guys are awesome~ :3


End file.
